Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Meet Machine Gun Joe -The MINESHAFT debuts new You Tube channel

Well, Give Joe Winslow enough rope, and he has no problem hanging himself! The most appropriate part of this lengthy dissertation (which I have serious doubts he even wrote) was when he prefaced it with an apology. I wonder who might have put him up to it?

Apparently Winslow hasn't retained legal council because nobody in their right mind gets served with a notice of claim for $200,000 at one meeting, then adds public slander and defamation of the claimant to the list - on the record, at the next meeting. Poor Joe. He just doesn't get it, and it's doubtful that he's even capable of understanding that he's digging his own grave. Joe is certainly not the brightest bulb in this chandelier. I doubt he can even define some of the words he's reading.

Thank you Mayor Foster for having the meetings filmed. Now the folks who leave for the hottest part of the year can catch the highlights of "America's dumbest criminals" - oh wait, for a moment I had the council meetings confused with a television show.

So if you don't want to be a mushroom (kept in the dark and fed a lot of crap...), put THE MINESHAFT's You Tube channel in your "favorites" or "bookmarks" so that you can watch the best show in Town from the comfort of your home. And now you can even make The Quartzsite Mineshaft your home page. But if you really want to "dig deep in the dirt", then you can follow the breaking news on Twitter!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Turn over financial records, court tells Sheriff Arpaio

In a scenario that reminds me of the battle over financial records between Mayor Foster and Town mismanager Alex Taft, a judge has ruled that the infamous Sheriff Joe Arpaio should turn over the requested documents to the Maricopa Board of Supervisors. The board issued a subpoena on April 27 and gave Arpaio until May 7 to turn over documents. When the sheriff missed that deadline, the board ordered him to a hearing for contempt.

"We are pleased that Maricopa County can move forward, on behalf of the taxpayers, to address the objective concerns about certain financial irregularities within the Sheriff's Office. We urge the Sheriff to promptly produce the financial records requested," county spokeswoman Cari Gerchick said in a statement. 

Maricopa Supervisors have been wrangling with officials in Arpaio's administration for months in an attempt to acquire documents that might confirm suspicions  that some money was being spent inappropriately.

Deputy County Manager Sandi Wilson said she was concerned that restricted funds may have been misspent. Sheriff's officials did not respond to a March 30 letter sent to Arpaio's Chief Financial Officer, Loretta Barkell and to Chief Deputy Dave Hendershott.

Hopefully, Quartzsite taxpayers will not have to wait months for Ms. Graft, I mean Taft to turn over the documents requested by Mayor the office of the Arizona Ombudsman has agreed to intervene. Taft can expect to hear from the Ombudsman's office this week!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

No "clean" election in Quartzsite! Attorney General investigates...

At the previous Town Council meeting, it was approved to ask the State for a recount of the vote. Then, facts were exposed relating to evidence of potential felony electioneering and voter fraud at "Call to the Public". At Tuesday evening's regular meeting of the Common Council, Mayor Foster revealed that the State Attorney General's Office of Public Corruption is currently investigating. Now, many are left wondering who really won the election for Quartzsite's open seats on the Town Council on May 18th. After all, less than ten votes separated the bottom four contenders..

The hefty file of correspondences at County Prosecutor Sam Vederman's Office clearly shows that after the primary election, Town Manager Alex Taft conspired with Police Chief Jeff Gilbert to investigate voters they personally selected with hopes of turning them over to the County for prosecution. What was the selection criteria? Well, I'm going to speculate that none of the voters Wes Huntley bragged about personally driving to the Registrar's Office were on that list.

This fascinating document shows that  Quartzsite's "news" paper publisher was an eager participant in this improper investigation:

Desert Messenger Publisher
Shannana "Rain" Goldenbear
Notice the date on the above email. It was sent to Alex Taft and Jeff Gilbert on Monday, March 29th -  four days after Alex Taft had sent a letter to the County, requesting the names of everyone who had registered to vote in the last six months and a full 20 days after the primary election! Surely if Ms Goldenbear was truly concerned about Russell and Susan's identification, then she would have immediately contacted the County Elections Board instead of waiting almost three weeks and corresponding with Taft and Gilbert. After all, that would have been the proper thing to do.

That's right folks, while she was editorializing about being fair and impartial, Rain was simultaneously conspiring to alter the outcome of the election. I hope her advertisers are paying attention. Are the "Proud Neighbors of Quartzsite" proud of this? Rain is. She proudly marched up to the podium and said as much after the email was read aloud at the previous meeting.

Keep in mind that even after weeks of QPD investigation, The Sias' were finally cleared of any crimes by Vederman's Office. So in keeping with the mission statement of Rain's beloved Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers, how would putting innocent people in jail affect the next 7 generations? Tell us please Rain, inquiring minds want to know.

Ok, let me break this down for you. This is not speculation. The information in this post is verifiable fact that is now in the hands of the FBI and others. Town mismanager Alex Taft and Police Chief Jeff Gilbert combed through names on the list of Quartzsite's registered voters, primarily voters that had registered in the six months preceding Taft's written request for the list. They then chose specific voters for investigation. Chief Gilbert used his official capacity to investigate these individuals, who were targeted for no other "probable cause" than the decision to become a registered voter. At Tuesday night's meeting, Gilbert insisted that he did nothing wrong and was directed to investigate at Vederman's request, but the documents themselves expose this claim as a bold face lie. Vederman had Haws investigate at the request of Gilbert and Taft.

All of this is more than ironic once you appreciate that Police Chief Jeff Gilbert and his wife Sondra voted under circumstances that were probably far more questionable than those of Russell and Susan Sias.

The Gilbert's did purchase lots 6 and 7 in the Palo Fiero subdivision on Feb. 11th, 2010 from then Council  candidate Erik Larson (after reportedly harassing Larson with assistance from Building Official Al Johnson until the price dropped by 20k). And they used to have a home in "Rainbow Acres", (lot #APN 302-32-422) purchased on July 27th, 2006, but they sold it on Feb. 26th, 2009. So where did they live from Feb. of 2009 to Feb. of 2010? My guess is 3210 Newport Dr., Lake Havasu City, a home they've had for about four years.

Take a look at the tiny trailer at 450 N.  Pilgrim Pl. that Police Chief Gilbert was registered to vote at.

It's more like an office really. But the garbage cans were a nice touch, even though I think the same garbage bag has been in it for a while now...and I never saw Jeff's "QPD1" black SUV parked there this spring, but maybe he was just out breaking the law when I drove by. The utilities have never been in Gilbert's  name, they are in the property owner's names, Lowell and Elizabeth Williams. (Beth Williams is the Justice of the Peace in the Quartzsite Division of the La Paz County Court.) Most revealing is the fact that Councilwoman Barbara Cowell of Arizona Westcoast Realty had it listed in her Desert Messenger ad as " never been lived in"! Oh, and Gilbert's wife Sondra had to vote with a provisional ballot because she showed up with a Havasu driver's license.

Who really won this dirty election? Certainly not the voters. If you take the six and seven votes that prevented Chaunce Hamilton and Russel Sias from prevailing, deduct the Gilbert's two votes, add back in Ms. Austin's legal vote for the full "reform slate" then there's only three or four votes separating the winning Council candidates from the losing two. Let's factor in that Taft and Gilbert had no motivation to investigate incumbent supporters and double check to see if that dead woman whose name was still on the rolls voted for anyone, and I believe we would have had an entirely different outcome.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul - Quartzsite's growing debt

Don't expect Town mismanager Alex Taft to pull a fiscal rabbit out of her hat. It's a given that she doesn't even have a card left up her sleeve. Previous comments posted on this blog affirm assertions that HURF funds were illegally supplanted just to make payroll, among other financial slight of hand and smoke and mirrors tricks. 

The incorporated municipality of Quartzsite is almost 5 million dollars in debt. The fiscal year will be over on June 30th. A new Taft orchestrated budget is on the agenda and will surely be passed at Tuesday evening's regular meeting of the Common Council. Friday's budget work session only proved once again the unwillingness of Town leaders to work with Mayor Foster.

Since our Councilpersons have been consistently ignorant of the law, I think this might be a good time to bring a timely suggestion to everyone's's just too bad that the previous incarnation of the Town Council hired Pam Walsma, an estate lawyer, and not a lawyer that specializes in municipal law. A quick internet search reveals Walsma's frantic emails asking other lawyers for advice. Clearly, she is in way over her head!

Residents should support the Citizen's Coalition and Dean Taylor's proposal to hire a competent municipal lawyer that will actually represent the people. I suggest that one of the first things evaluated is the potential restructuring of Quartzsite's debt through municipal bankruptcy. This is a viable option that has not been adequately explored in Arizona,  from a legal perspective. Actually, except for Mayor Foster who has mentioned investigating this possibility, I doubt that any of our leaders are even aware of this potential solution. 

Our Nation has set a record for Federal debt.. Arizona is broke. The County is broke and until Holly Irwin and the other County Supervisors deal with the Yakima lawsuit, La Paz will only go further in debt, dragging Quartzsite down too. One thing is for certain, Quartzsite cannot continue the practices that put it's future in such a precarious position. Just looking for "new sources of revenue" like writing more speeding tickets as outlined by Police Chief Gilbert in a recent grant proposal will not be enough to offset the drying up of available funds at the state and Federal level.

So, in the interest of saving the Town, I'm going to do the work that Taft, Walsma, and the "Council" should have done months ago. Here's an overview of municipal bankruptcy, yes the links are "hot":


Article 9 Section 8 - Local debt limits; assent of taxpayers

8. Local debt limits; assent of taxpayers
Section 8. (1) No county, city, town, school district, or other municipal corporation shall for any purpose become indebted in any manner to an amount exceeding six per centum of the taxable property in such county, city, town, school district, or other municipal corporation, without the assent of a majority of the property taxpayers, who must also in all respects be qualified electors, therein voting at an election provided by law to be held for that purpose, the value of the taxable property therein to be ascertained by the last assessment for state and county purposes, previous to incurring such indebtedness; except, that in incorporated cities and towns assessments shall be taken from the last assessment for city or town purposes; provided, that under no circumstances shall any county or school district become indebted to an amount exceeding fifteen per centum of such taxable property, as shown by the last assessment roll thereof; and provided further, that any incorporated city or town, with such assent, may be allowed to become indebted to a larger amount, but not exceeding twenty per centum additional, for supplying such city or town with water, artificial light, or sewers, when the works for supplying such water, light, or sewers are or shall be owned and controlled by the municipality, and for the acquisition and development by the incorporated city or town of land or interests therein for open space preserves, parks, playgrounds and recreational facilities.

So, if it became necessary, can Quartzsite, AZ declare bankruptcy under the Federal Bankruptcy Code?
Yes, municipalities, defined as a "political subdivision or public agency or instrumentality of a state", are eligible for chapter 9. A municipality must satisfy four threshold requirements in order to obtain chapter 9 relief:

1. Have specific state authorization to be a debtor under chapter 9.
2. Be insolvent.
3. Desire to effect a plan to adjust its debts.
4. Must satisfy one of four alternatives: 
a. Has obtained the consent of at least a majority in amount of impaired claimholders under the proposed plan; or
b. Has negotiated in good faith but has failed to reach any agreement with a majority of the impaired claimholders under the proposed plan; or
c. Negotiation with such claimholders is impractical; or
d. Has a reasonable belief that a creditor may attempt to obtain a preference.

Federal Bankruptcy Law

11 U.S.C. 109. Who may be a debtor

(c) An entity may be a debtor under chapter 9 of this title if and only if such entity ---
(1) is a municipality;
(2) is specifically authorized, in its capacity as a municipality or by name, to be a debtor under such chapter by State law, or by a governmental officer or organization empowered by State law to authorize such entity to be a debtor under such chapter;
(3) is insolvent;
(4) desires to effect a plan to adjust such debts; and
(c)(5)(A) has obtained the agreement of creditors holding at least a majority in amount of the claims of each class that such entity intends to impair under a plan in a case under such chapter;
(B) has negotiated in good faith with creditors and has failed to obtain the agreement of creditors holding at least a majority in amount of the claims of each class that such entity intends to impair under a plan in a case under such chapter;
(C) is unable to negotiate with creditors because such negotiation is impracticable; or
(D) reasonably believes that a creditor may attempt to obtain a transfer that is avoidable under section 547 of this title.

A) Federal Bankruptcy Law Limits Judicial Interference into State and Municipal Governance Thereby Allowing the Municipal-Debtor to Maintain Control of Its Fiscal Affairs During Bankruptcy.

B) The State May Appoint a Trustee At Anytime.

C) A State May Control the Formulation of the Debt Readjustment Plan.

Arizona (ARIZ. REV. STAT. ANN. § 35-603) (1997)
Article 1In General


Exercise of powers


Filing petition; payment of expenses


Resolution authorizing filing of petition and representation of district by attorne


Powers of taxing district


Resolution of district assenting to plan as prerequisite of final decree of court becoming effective.
35-607Powers of district to consummate plan; issuance of refunding bonds; hearing upon resolution; notice.
35-608Purpose of article

So, there you have it boys and girls. A viable solution to Quartzsite's insolvency. Unless you prefer more of the same...something that only benefits a select few.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Dumpster Dive yields Quartzsite information jackpot!

Well, the documents retrieved from the bins behind Quartzsite Town Hall are being organized and turned over to Mayor Foster and the Citizen's Coalition. Eventually they may be turned over to the Attorney General's Office as evidence.

 "Dumpster diving" in Quartzsite has yielded some fascinating finds. Never mind the "open records requests" that Town mismanager Alexandra Taft will likely make sure never ever get filled. The stuff she's throwing out is waaay more confidential!

Everyone's names, addresses, account numbers and balances for Town utilities, "objectives" for grant proposals, contracts with engineering firms that actually include payment information, resident's building permits, volunteer applications and other documents with personal and private information are not being shredded! And since several citizens have witnesses documents being removed from Town Hall since Foster's victory was confirmed, it's a sure bet that a lot more than Elvis has left the building..

But most fascinating of all is the fact that these documents were rescued when Town Clerk Karen Norris was out of Town for "training" and her signature is on many of the recovered documents. You see, official documents are considered a permanent record and belong to the State, not the Town. Documents are not allowed to be thrown away or destroyed without Norris' approval. Not surprisingly, one of the documents found in the trash was the Town's ethics guide for the Council members.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Deena Blythe trial postponed again...

Those who care will have to wait until July 14th for the next chapter in the ongoing saga of wannabe a councilwoman Deena Blythe. Motions and plea bargains have been volleyed back and forth for several sessions now, and Prosecutor Sam Vederman will have another month to reload for the next round. Since Ms. Blythe is an alleged "repeat offender", it will be interesting to see how she is treated by the justice system when all is said and done.
Deena Blythe profile photo from Biker Kiss website

Upcoming court appearances for others on Quartzsite's least wanted  list will be reported here in the coming months. In a Town rife with criminal activity that has finally come to light this season, it's a given that there will be no shortage of stories to cover here, stories that you won't hear about in that "FREE Community Paper" used to line the bottom of bird cages.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I think some Quartzsite officials are queasy and may want to get off.. Or at least we hope they will not wait until this ride has reached a complete stop before attempting to exit the building.
Wow! Tuesday night's Town Council meeting had more ups and downs, twists and turns than an amusement park ride. But you can bet that Mayor Foster was the only Quartzsite Town official amused by the events that unfolded to a standing room only crowd.

The meeting began in a typical fashion with Mayor Foster giving the invocation, but the items placed on the evening's agenda were clearly personal and very divisive. Councilman Jerry Lukkasson was not in Town for the meeting (as I predicted), but was present via speaker phone.

Before the anticipated showdown began, Quartzsite's "Vigilante Vendor" approached the podium for "Reports and Announcements" and stated that she had a "present" for some of the people who represent the Town. She then introduced the Town Constable Paul Staudt, who served Councilpersons Winslow, Anderson, Cowell and Kelley with an official Notice of Claim for $200,000 in damages. Town mismanager Alex Taft was also served, along with Police Chief Jeff Gilbert. Town Attorney Pamela Walsma was reportedly served at her Yuma law office, Shadle and Walsma. Former acting like a mayor Wes Huntley was served when he attempted to leave the meeting, about twenty minutes into Mayor Foster's "report" on the Town's water issues.
But Huntley assaulted Constable Staudt, in a useless attempt to avoid taking the Notice. Shortly thereafter, an incoherent Huntley was reported to have taken out his rage on former Mayor Steve Bennett,  in a phone call tirade about Bennett's previous water issue reported here.

The Notice of Claim, apparently stems from the events leading up to and following the "Sign Wars - may Force be with you!" blog;
and according to attorney David Hossler, of the Yuma law firm Hunt, Grogan, Meerchaum and Hossler, "The harassment toward Ms. Harris has been continuous and without basis." Town citizens are now speculating that Jones will also seek damages for what appears to be unlawful detainment, assault, harassment and filing a false "Incident Report". We can all thank Chief Gilbert and his bosses at Town Hall for opening up Quartzsite to yet another insurance claim.

On to the agenda:

According to Quartzsite News, the attempt at stripping Mayor Foster of the powers accorded his position at the previous Council meeting will now go to a ballot referendum and the voters will decide. Mayor Foster explained his refusal to sign the actions into effect, citing that the proposed changes were in violation of Arizona Revised Statutes, and that the Town had no legal right to circumvent or override state authority in the matter. Councilman Jose Lizzarraga disappointed many by wrongfully insisting that the Mayor's power to declare an emergency was only for financial reimbursement, and that as Fire Captain, Lizzarraga himself, along with Police Chief Jeff Gilbert were in charge for the first twenty four to forty eight hours of an official emergency. Richard Oldham, "the first, second and third Mayor of Quartzsite" affirmed Foster's assertion, and suggested that  the current Council should attend classes offered by the League of Cities and Towns in order to avoid future blunders and understand their responsibilities. In the end, the roll call vote approved the motion to allow Vice Mayor Barbara Cowell to sign instead of Foster, with Bob Kelley and Mayor Foster voting against the unlawful proposal.

Apparently intimidated by Mayor Foster's daily request letters, Councilman Joe Winslow proposed that all future requests must be submitted to the council for approval. This attempt to muzzle the Mayor's questions on spending concerns was met with outrage by Citizens Coalition "facilitator" Dean Taylor, who referred to the Councilman as "machine gun Joe", an apparent reference to a recent comment caught on the Towns own audio feed where Winslow can be clearly heard saying "I think if we could just get all five of 'em in the front row, we'd just machine gun 'em!" to which Bob Kelley may have responded "Damn fine idea!". All members of the Council voted to approve and the item passed.

The only item placed on the agenda by our new Mayor, was an attempt to repeal a previous change that prohibited certain people from running for Town office.  However, not one member of Council would give Mayor Foster the courtesy of making a motion to discuss the item.

Many in attendance suffered through the hot and stuffy meeting to voice their outrage and show support for Foster at the "Call to the Public". As promised during his campaign, nobody was told to "sit down and shut up" and everyone spoke their piece without any time or subject restrictions. Felony criminal charges of electioneering were inferred against Alex Taft and Police Chief Jeff Gilbert, as well as alleged charges of felony voter fraud against Police Chief Gilbert and wife Sondra, who never denied the allegations, but instead Chief Gilbert offered to meet with anyone who had concerns later in his office. I wonder if he will have an attorney present...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

LEGAL Immigration - from the perspective of a foreigner

I found this while doing research. It's too good not to share!

So You Want to Be an American: 5 Circles of Immigration Hell

By C. Coville May 15, 2010 453,572 views
article image
Hard core anti-immigration types in places like, say, Arizona, say it's not about racism. It's the fact that the people crossing the border are breaking the law. Sure, America is awesome, but the country lets in a lot of immigrants through nice legal channels, right? Why don't these Mexicans just try it that way?
Well, having gone through immigration myself in 2009 (the legal way), I can tell you right now there's a reason. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying breaking the law is the way to go. But I am saying that when you make the legal pathway to something long, baffling and infuriating enough, many people are going to skip it in favor of the easy option. Even if choosing that option makes them a criminal.
So are you part of the huddled masses, yearning to breathe free as an American? Prepare yourself for...
Step 1:
The Application
Time: 3-6 months
Cost: $1,000
As a bright-eyed Australian starting my immigration journey, I looked forward to my dealings with the American government. After all, these guys are powerful enough to run the whole world, right? Surely that whole operation must run pretty smoothly.

Look at how short those lines are!
I studied the instructions using my best American Bureaucracy to English dictionary. I carefully ticked the "no" box on the question asking "Are You A Terrorist?". I accordingly prepared all the pieces of information that the Department of Homeland Security requested: my original birth certificate, proof of citizenship, lists of every address I've ever lived at, details of every employer I've ever worked for, a police check, a dozen passport-sized photos, affidavits, a stack of financial documents. No problem.
I sent it all in with the several hundred dollars of "processing fees" and knew it would take 3-6 months for them to process it.
I was rejected.
It turned out my initial application was returned because, while I had attached a police certificate that proved I didn't have a criminal record, I hadn't attached fingerprints. Apparently, according to the DHS, the Australian police force is not yet advanced enough to have thought of prosecuting crimes using fingerprints. The Americans, therefore, needed a set of prints to make sure I hadn't got away with any crimes that had slipped past my homeland's investigation system, which consists mostly of shoving suspects against walls and yelling "YOU CALL THAT A KNIFE?" until someone confesses.

The Aussie equivalent of Huckleberry Finn.
Fine. Do it again, fingerprints attached this time. Now we advance to...
Step 2:
The F*&#-Up
Time: 3 months
Cost: $100-$1,000
When it comes to the American immigration process, there will always be a fuck up. With this much paperwork, this many incomprehensible instructions, and a DHS workforce that apparently spends all its time arranging competitions about which immigrant hopeful sent in the funniest passport-sized photo, this is inevitable.

Oh, France.
But here's the important part: No matter who makes the mistake, it's up to you to solve it.
In my case, the fuck up was performed by a border guard, who forgot to take a piece of paper from my passport which proved I'd left America after an earlier visit and hadn't overstayed my visa. This kind of thing is quite common. Once I figured out what had happened, I frantically collected the mountain of paperwork that would prove that I had indeed returned to my country (credit card records, work transcript, plane ticket stubs, etc) only to find that the office in Kentucky that I sent the proof to would not confirm that it had received this proof for another three months.
Note that this is not the waiting time for them to process the documents and decide whether they're adequate, but the waiting time for somebody to wander into the mail room, pick up the envelope, and confirm that it is in fact there.

"We'll get to reading mail when we're done sitting awkwardly and grinning."
Me, I never heard back from them. To this day, I'm not sure if they ever received the proof. The problem was either sorted out, or the mistake itself was lost in the bureaucratic incompetence, and I'll be suddenly deported eight years from now.

I hope the man who arrests me has a better mustache.
Step 3:
The Medical Check
Time: 2-3 weeks
Cost: $1,000
Once your application is in and all fuck ups are sorted out, it's time to start on the medical check, a process that makes sure you're worthy to enter the sterile and disease-free clean zone that is modern America. This check usually consists of a general exam, a chest X-Ray for tuberculosis, a blood test for STDs, and proof of past vaccinations.

"Sorry, but we don't do STD tests on old people. It's icky."
Well, can't complain about that. The last thing America needs is the French wandering in with plague rats nesting in their suitcases. And, okay, there also is the fact that they assume the doctors you have in your filthy koala-infested country have no idea what they're doing so you can only see one of their approved doctors to do the exam. In fact, in my home state of 400,000 square miles and 1.5 million people, there was exactly one doctor deemed trustworthy by DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano to check me for disease. This means that the sole America-approved doctor, knowing he has a monopoly and you don't have a choice, will charge several hundred dollars to listen to your chest and ask you a couple of health background questions. The only website courageous enough to openly say that Janet Napolitano has Man Hair.
But you can never be too careful when it comes to disease, right? Well, the thing is, at the time I embarked on my medical check, I had already spent three months in America on a "tourist" visit, meaning that I didn't need to apply for a visa or do anything other than show up in LAX with a passport.
During those three months, I'd had ample opportunity to breathe the air, cough on people with my foreign, disease-infested lungs, and share used needles with schoolchildren while bleeding openly into the water supply. Had I wanted to, I could have disappeared inside the borders and stayed on as an illegal, inflicting my unvaccinated self on the country for all time.

Average Foreigner.
Despite this, America was only interested in protecting her citizens from my foreign germs when I actually applied for a visa to immigrate legally. In other words, the socioeconomic class that can actually afford the time and money to pay for the legal immigration process, the ones who are most likely to be healthy, vaccinated and non-consumptive, are the ones whose health and germs America worries most about. Doesn't that make you feel safer?